Operate from Value

There is a place called Value that resembles you having your peace and leaving another with their peace at the end of an argument. Operating from Value also occurs when you are in another’s company and you notice an enhanced emotion or wellbeing versus an observation of melancholy or sadness from your engagement – where the former, is adding value to the outcome. I had a conversation with my teen this morning that left me teary-eyed not because it was a sad conversation, but more so a dialog that had me hoping she’d share the same with her offspring one day.

House boat near in NOC: Nantahala Outdoor Center. 9/20/2020

Always operate from a place of Value” when you have relationships with people, I explained. Her eyes hinted at a further explanation and I began to share the following with her. Any time you are with someone, e.g. friend, relative, significant other, aunt, parent or in a professional setting, you want to aim at leaving the table having had a positive impact on the person’s life where the next encounter brings not only joy but spiritual uplifting and emotional wellbeing for both parties, particularly the other party. Before she could ask what I meant, I elaborated using myself as an example.

At 49-years old in October, I am welcoming situations that add value to either my presence, life, emotional state, holistic wellbeing and time because anything or anyone that goes against this desire or request is negating from my self-healing, growth and presence. Too often we see couples break up to later learn they are now at each other’s throat because of a promise made that now, suddenly, cannot be trusted from the other’s mouth who they previously loved. Crazy? No, accurate. What about a situation that invites a misunderstanding and now both parties involved are leaving the table with inconceivable stress that didn’t exist before?

Both aforementioned vignettes are discounts to one’s health; thus, taking away from what could have been avoided to begin with. Adding Value simply means enhancing one’s present situation, e.g. offering a smile to brighten up their day; validating their point of view or emotion or even something as simple as trusting their truth because from this delivers an exchange of harmony, peace, respect and dignity. Conversely, when we don’t bring Value with us, we do just the opposite: we deposit reservations, invite stress, create strife and may leave emotional scars that are all sometimes challenging to correct yet are unavoidable.

How do we add Value? Arriving at the answer is simple, yet not simply stated because one may say ‘treat the person the way you want to be treat,’ which begs a question? Is the person doing the treatment treating her/himself the way s/he ‘knows’ is the best treatment for themselves?! Therefore, adding Value requires you to assess and evaluate your purpose by looking from the outside in and arriving at your answer when you know that your objective should be to leave the person in a better state of mind or in a better emotional space.

So, if you find this a challenging task – don’t, just envision how you could benefit if you were the recipient! Promise yourself to add Value and if you are incapable of doing so, don’t negate. Don’t take away! Aim to always ADD!

– Blossom

Too hopeful, not so

Recently asked by my counselor, and I paraphrase, “Each time you leave you expect a different outcome,” when I explained about how each visit home rarely ends the way I expect – on a positive note. “Felita, I’ve never seen anyone so hopeful” about potentially Correcting the Wrongs of such a difficult relationship she explained when I began to question my sanity.

Be it what it may, I will forever vow to do my part, show my face, lend my hand, reach out with full effort and defend my belief, which is – continue to make small, forward steps so that when you reflect on your habits in the past tense you can exist in your present state saying that you’ve tried to do your best with what you have and with what is before you.

Create your own Sunshine­čî×

This weekend was a good one and today was a great day! My time was spent with whom, where and how I wanted, and I feel good about listening to my own intuition instead. Although the clouds hovered, I managed to create my own Sunshine.

Find Your Fullness

Although I was bitter about going to my late afternoon session I left with great takeaways! My typical one-hour session usually begins at 11:00 AM on Saturdays, but because there are so many wounded persons like me who are seeking their healing my energy was channeled elsewhere. I thought, adaptability is far more important so adjust your mindset (is what I told myself).

Today was a great day, and I left more equipped with tools and resources I will begin to apply for small improvements. The takeaway from my session, and I paraphrase “If you were full (engaged in present activities for self-nourishment), you wouldn’t be seeking things and results from an empty well,” she explained. I didn’t quite grasp the message in my two previous sessions, but this time her message resonated: don’t expect things from people who are without the things you need or are unable to comprehend your request.

So how does this analogy equate to self and what practices are employable for one’s healing? Below are a few tips to keep in mind – not in any specific order:

  • You must do your own work to receive results
  • You must be willing to make small steps first
  • If you accept mediocre, you will receive no different
  • You cannot want more for a person than they want for themselves
  • Stand in your own judgement before you stand in another’s judgement
  • Know the journey to healing is a slow, methodical and strategic practice
  • Be willing and receptive to embracing your brokenness in exchange for proper repair
  • Know that your reach to someone or for something great may yield an empty return

There are others, but these are a few!

– Blossom